This might be the most difficult, terrifying story I have ever written.
And that's good (I hope). I want to challenge myself. I want to tackle subject matter that I don't see getting much attention in the fandom. I want to be an advocate for those who have trouble getting their voices heard and their stories told. I want my readers to see themselves reflected in my stories. But this only works and it only helps if I do it right, and that's where the "terrifying" part comes into it.
I'm not trans*, so writing a POV transgender character is probably problematic from the start. There are some tropes surrounding this that I am aware of, and traps that I've made an effort not to fall into. First and foremost, I am trying to avoid fetishising Remus's body and sexuality. I hope I have managed this, in spite of this story being a romance with sexual content. I want to show him having a happy, healthy sex life with a boyfriend who is always there to support him and give him validation when he's feeling insecure about his body.
I've also tried to avoid a dynamic of a cisgender person teaching a trans* person how to enjoy sex and be comfortable with their body. I know that can start to look like a cis person being pushy and talking a trans* person into doing things before they are ready. I've done my best to make Sirius an eager and encouraging lover, while still making sure that Remus has tons of agency, and often makes the first move.
I have written R/S a hundred times before, and a few R/S AUs. I usually hop back and forth between their POVs, or lean heavily in Sirius's direction. For this story, I wanted to make sure I centred Remus's POV, feelings and experiences. I've made a concerted effort here to write this story fully from his POV, because in this case, Sirius's experiences, while possibly interesting, are not the point and do not matter anywhere near as much.
Most of all, I wanted to write a story that models consent, models sexual agency, models ways to be supportive and validating of the people we love. In this case, it was more important to me than writing a "realistic" or "believable" story. I want to show people, especially young people, how to be better at having healthy relationships, and taking care of one another, rather than reflecting the painful and problematic world of what teenage relationships are often like. I hope I have accomplished this.
If there are problematic elements still present in this story, however small, please do not hesitate to let me know. You can email me or message me privately. As with all my stories, I want this one to be the best it can possibly be. Thank you so much to everyone who has made suggestions and posted encouraging feedback so far. Two more chapters to go! And if I'm feeling brave, there will be a sequel, which will tackle some even more difficult subject matter. *nerves*