pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
Title: Trans*Figured
Author: [personal profile] pica_scribit (complete fic archive)
Word Count: ~25,000
Genre: AU, romance, drama, angst, hurt/comfort
Rating: M
Warnings: Trans* character written by cis author, references to Dark magic, bullying, attempted suicide, transphobia, sexual activity between teenagers. Not a "born this way" trans* story; there's a magical twist for the magical world.
Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Poppy Pomfrey, Mr & Mrs Lupin (OCs)
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: Remus has a secret: he's not a werewolf.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters and the Wizarding world are the sole property of J. K. Rowling. I own nothing except my own ideas, and make no profit. No copyright infringement is intended.
Note: I have tried to create a sensitive portrayal of a transgender character. I believe we need more trans* visibility in fanfiction. Obviously Remus's experiences are uniquely his own, and there is no single right way to be trans* or to feel about being trans*. It's possible I've made a mess of this, regardless of my intentions. If so, then I apologise and humbly ask for wise advice and/or resources to help me improve any problematic aspects of this story.

Excerpt:
Sirius was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "We thought you might be a werewolf."

"What?" Remus almost laughed at the absurdity.

"Last year. James and I thought -- but the dates didn't quite match up. With the full moons, I mean."

"Well, I'm not."

"I know. All I meant was, we thought you might be, and we still wanted to be friends. Whatever you're not telling us -- how much worse could it be?"
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
Here, have some sexyfuntimes with the pups. Isn't it nice when they are happy?

Excerpt:
Sirius was warm and half asleep when he greeted Remus with a drowsy, open-mouthed kiss, but he began to wake up as Remus tugged at his teeshirt. By the time his pants slipped over his hips, he was hard.

"This is a nice dream," he sighed into Remus's ear.

"Want me to make it nicer?"

"Mmmm. Yes, please."

Trans*Figured, Chapter 9
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
This might be the most difficult, terrifying story I have ever written. And that's good (I hope). I want to challenge myself. I want to tackle subject matter that I don't see getting much attention in the fandom. I want to be an advocate for those who have trouble getting their voices heard and their stories told. I want my readers to see themselves reflected in my stories. But this only works and it only helps if I do it right, and that's where the "terrifying" part comes into it.

I'm not trans*, so writing a POV transgender character is probably problematic from the start. There are some tropes surrounding this that I am aware of, and traps that I've made an effort not to fall into. First and foremost, I am trying to avoid fetishising Remus's body and sexuality. I hope I have managed this, in spite of this story being a romance with sexual content. I want to show him having a happy, healthy sex life with a boyfriend who is always there to support him and give him validation when he's feeling insecure about his body.

I've also tried to avoid a dynamic of a cisgender person teaching a trans* person how to enjoy sex and be comfortable with their body. I know that can start to look like a cis person being pushy and talking a trans* person into doing things before they are ready. I've done my best to make Sirius an eager and encouraging lover, while still making sure that Remus has tons of agency, and often makes the first move.

I have written R/S a hundred times before, and a few R/S AUs. I usually hop back and forth between their POVs, or lean heavily in Sirius's direction. For this story, I wanted to make sure I centred Remus's POV, feelings and experiences. I've made a concerted effort here to write this story fully from his POV, because in this case, Sirius's experiences, while possibly interesting, are not the point and do not matter anywhere near as much.

Most of all, I wanted to write a story that models consent, models sexual agency, models ways to be supportive and validating of the people we love. In this case, it was more important to me than writing a "realistic" or "believable" story. I want to show people, especially young people, how to be better at having healthy relationships, and taking care of one another, rather than reflecting the painful and problematic world of what teenage relationships are often like. I hope I have accomplished this.

If there are problematic elements still present in this story, however small, please do not hesitate to let me know. You can email me or message me privately. As with all my stories, I want this one to be the best it can possibly be. Thank you so much to everyone who has made suggestions and posted encouraging feedback so far. Two more chapters to go! And if I'm feeling brave, there will be a sequel, which will tackle some even more difficult subject matter. *nerves*
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
I've split Chapter 2 in half, since it was so much longer than all the others, which has bumped up the number of all subsequent chapters. Sorry for any confusion this may cause. Here, have some sexy fun times.

Excerpt:
"Remus --"

"Hmmm?" said Remus again, eyeing one of Sirius's nipples and wondering what would happen if he applied his tongue to it.

"Y-you don't have to do this every time."

"I want to. I like touching you. Don't you like it?" His tongue flicked out, tasting pink.

Sirius made a sound. "Doesn't seem fair," he mumbled, "me getting off all the time."

"Mmmm," Remus rubbed his lips against the tiny nub. "Let me worry about 'fair'."

Trans*Figured, Chapter 8
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
Sometimes I stay up all night just to finish a chapter. I am the Queen of Grown-Up Life Choices. I know I am probably making Sirius too nice and too perfect in this, but I don't really care. His purpose is to make sure Remus's existence and desires are validated all over the damn place.

Excerpt:

"So sorry if me snogging my boyfriend makes you uncomfortable, Potter," said Sirius, not sounding sorry at all. "You never had any problem snogging Hathersage in front of us."

"That's different," said James.

"Is it, though?" asked Peter.

James looked thoughtful for a moment. "No. No, Pete's right; it's not. It's not fair that I can snog a girl or hold hands with her where people can see us, and no one makes a fuss, but you have to hide and keep things secret."

Trans*Figured, Chapter 6

pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Default)
The power was out today in my neighbourhood. Look what happens when there's no internet to distract me! Who would have thought?

Excerpt:
"I'm OK," said Sirius. "Are you?"

"Yeah, fine." Remus began to walk in the direction of the stairway to Gryffindor tower.

"You look like death," Sirius said, following him.

"Thanks. I'm tired, Sirius. What do you want?"


Trans*Figured, Chapter 5


(I'm still looking for someone knowledgeable in trans* issues to advise me on a non-problematic way of dealing with Snape in this story. Volunteers?)
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (magpie)
I've started tracking my monthly word count in an effort to try to set reasonable writing goals for myself. In the month of October, I wrote 8800 words (down from 16,000 in September and 12,900 in August). This month, I added one chapter to ACOC Year Two, one chapter to Trans*Figured, and wrote seven short pieces to complete A History of Cartographers. That's not too bad.

Here's what I would like to accomplish by the end of the year: I want ACOC Y2 to be longer than Y1, which means adding at least 11,000 words, or about two more chapters. I also want to finish Trans*Figured, which I think has around four more chapters of ~3000 words each. I already have a short sequel in mind for it, but I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about that yet.

So that's about 23,000 words I want to write between now and the end of December, or 377 words per day. I should be able to manage that, right?
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
I've been feeling the itch to work on my trans* Remus story a lot lately. I wrote pretty much the whole chapter in the last six hours. Hope it's good!

Excerpt:
Remus and Snape's heads both jerked up to see Sirius lounging against the wall between them and the classroom.

Snape's mouth twisted into a sneer. "I wasn't hurting your girlfriend, Black. There's no law against me talking to her."

"There is now." Sirius pushed away from the wall, his wand clenched in his fist. "I don't ever want to hear you speak to Remus again. I'm fairly certain Dumbledore told you not to bother him."

"Just because I'm keeping that stupid secret doesn't mean I can't have a little fun." Snape's hand twitched towards his wand pocket.

Chapter 4


ETA: I need some help with resolving Snape. Can someone knowledgeable in trans* issues please contact me? I would be very grateful for any help you can provide.
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
I started writing this last year, and got distracted. When I found it the other day, I got excited about it all over again (also terrified because I really want to get this shit right). Anyway, here's Ch. 3 of my trans!Remus story.

Excerpt:
"Better now?" Pomfrey asked as his eyes blinked open.

He nodded.

"You've lost a lot of blood," she informed him. "You're very lucky that Potter and Pettigrew found you in time, and that Potter managed to keep his head."

"Blood?" He remembered blood. A lot of it. Smeared and dripping on the white tiles of the bathroom floor.

"You tried to kill yourself, Remus." His father's voice was strained. "Why?"


Trans*Figured, Ch. 3
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
I am delighted to announce that Trans*Figured now has its own page on my website! Upon the advice of the incomparable [personal profile] themessrs, who has my undying gratitude, I have expanded Part II by ... er ... 3000 words. Meep! Looks like this is going to be another one of those stories that gets away from me. Enjoy!

Part I * Part II


(Also, don't forget that there is still time to vote in the [community profile] rs_games! The participants have worked hard and deserve all the love they can get!)
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
Title: Trans*Figured (2/5?)
Author: [personal profile] pica_scribit (complete fic archive)
Word Count: ~3800 and counting
Genre: AU, drama, angst, hurt/comfort, romance
Rating: T
Warnings: Trans* character written by cis author, references to Dark magic, attempted suicide
Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Poppy Pomfrey, Mr & Mrs Lupin (OCs)
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: Remus has a secret: he's not a werewolf.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters and the Wizarding world are the sole property of J. K. Rowling. I own nothing except my own ideas, and make no profit. No copyright infringement is intended.
Note: I've been feeling recently that there is an under-representation of trans* characters in fanworks. Which is to say, I've never encountered one. This story is my attempt to improve trans* visibility in HP fanfic. I acknowledge that there are probably as many ways to be trans* as there are trans* people in the world, and I know that this story will probably not ring true with everyone's experiences, but hopefully I haven't made too much of a mess of things. I apologise in advance for any problematic elements that may have sneaked into the story in spite of my best intentions. I encourage everyone to check out Not Your Mom's Trans 101. It contains some great advice on being an effective and compassionate trans* ally.

Part I

Part II )
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
Title: Trans*Figured
Author: [personal profile] pica_scribit (complete fic archive)
Word Count: ~2100 and counting
Genre: AU, drama, angst, hurt/comfort
Rating: T (so far)
Warnings: Author writing about issues she has no experience with or business writing about, probably.
Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Pairing: Remus/Sirius (pre-slash)
Summary: Remus has a secret, and it's not what you think.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters and the Wizarding world are the sole property of J. K. Rowling. I own nothing except my own ideas, and make no profit. No copyright infringement is intended.
Note: This bunny bit me the other day and wouldn't let go. I don't know when I've ever been so nervous about posting something I've written. I apologise in advance if I've made a mess of this.


He could not really remember what it had been like, Before. He had been too young. Sometimes he wished he could recall what it had felt like to be whole -- to be himself -- but more and more as he grew older, he felt that knowing what he had lost would be too much to bear. Mostly, Remus Lupin just felt alone.

Making friends was difficult. His Special Circumstances made him awkward and self-conscious around other children. The secret locked inside him was too big and too complicated for him to explain in a way that they would understand. His parents loved him, and they did what they could to ease the path for him, but they did not always seem to know what to do with him, either. They researched spells and bought expensive potions that left Remus feeling sick and weak for days, but they could find nothing to reverse what had been done to him.

Trans*Figured )

August 2017

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