pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - Trio - Growing up)
Title: The Dursleys' Worst Nightmare
Wordcount: ~2700
Rating: K+
Genre: Fluff, friendship, romance
Characters: Dudley Dursley, Cho Chang, Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Percy Weasley, Romilda Vane, Rubeus Hagrid
Summary: At Harry and Ginny's wedding, Dudley discovers that every girl in the Wizarding world wants to meet famous Harry Potter's cousin.
Author's Notes: I love writing odd pairings, and after Deathly Hallows, I really wanted to see Dudley continue to grow as a person.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - McGonagall is Evil!)
I wrote this humorous drabble for the Itch-Quidd drabbling session in the park at the end of Sectus. The prompt was "Allergies". I thought I would share in case anyone found it amusing.

Allergies )
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Slytherin - Get Fuzzy)
As anyone who has ever visited Fanfiction.net could tell you, the quality of most teen writing is abysmal. "How can they even stand to read their own writing?" I think. But I used to write when I was a tiny little highschool freshman as well. Was I ever that awful? I found the following today, which I wrote as part of a writing assignment my freshman year (1994). The assignment, I believe, was to write an "updated" version of a scene from one of Shakespeare's plays. I chose the opening scene of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". I'll let you be the judges....

Yes, yes it is Shakespeare fanfic.... )
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Badfic - Sparklypoo)
Title: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Part Four - The D.T.U.C.
Author: [livejournal.com profile] pica_scribit
Rating: PG-13 for sexual references, language and some violence
Word Count: 10168 (complete!)
Genre: parody, fandom mock
Characters: Madeleine Yaxley (OC), Maggie Lewis (OC), Marvola Elfynchyld (OC), Peter, Dumbledore, Special Agent Sam "Boggart" Humphries (OC)
Pairing(s): Remus/Maggie, Remus/Marvola, Peter/Madeleine
Synopsis: Maggie and Madeleine each try to get rid of the new girl at Hogwarts in their own way.
Timeline: September 1974
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Please don't sue me. Some of Agent Humphries' dialogue comes from the film The Maltese Falcon.
Author's Notes: The previous chapters now also include footnotes, which you may wish to backtrack and read, if you have not already. I would like to thank [livejournal.com profile] eskimosatan for allowing me to use the concept of the D.T.U.C. in my story. This chapter is dedicated to the memory of Humphry Bogart, a brilliant actor, who passed away fifty years and a couple of weeks ago. Feedback is my drug of choice. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies. My other stories can be found here.

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three]

(Part Four - The D.T.U.C.)
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Badfic - Sparklypoo)
Title: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Part Three: Glamour
Author: [livejournal.com profile] pica_scribit
Rating: PG for some language
Warnings: Chatspeak, abusive punctuation, pairings of characters who hate one another, excessive magical ability, textbook description of a 'Sue
Word Count: 1942
Genre: Crackfic, Fandom parody
Characters: Maggie (OC), Madeleine (OC), Marvola (OC), Peter, Remus, Sirius, James, Lily
Pairing(s): Remus/OC, Remus/'Sue OC, Peter/OC, James/Lily
Synopsis: Madeleine and Maggie scour the Hogwarts library looking for something that will help them in their battle against the too-perfect, thoroughly annoying new girl.
Timeline: September, Marauders' 5th year
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Don't sue me, please.
Author's Note: Parts One and Two can be found on my webpage. Feedback is my drug of choice. Please let me know if this gave you a giggle. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies.


(Glamour)
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Badfic - Sparklypoo)
Title: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Part Two: Marvola
Author: [livejournal.com profile] pica_scribit
Rating: PG for allusion to sex and some language
Warnings: Chatspeak, anachronism, abusive punctuation, broken dress code, nauseating descriptions, gratuitous misspelling of "Voldemort", excessive magical ability, Sorting Hat's 'Sue song
Word Count: 2531
Genre: Crackfic, Fandom parody
Characters: Maggie (OC), Madeleine (OC), Louisa (OC), Marvola (OC), Hagrid, McGonagall, Remus, Sirius, James, Peter
Pairing(s): Remus/OC, Remus/'Sue OC, Peter/OC
Synopsis: A new girl arrives at Hogwarts. She's perfect. She's beautiful. She has curves in all the right places. Everyone loves her. Everyone except Madeleine and Maggie, that is.
Timeline: September 1, Marauders' 5th year
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Don't sue me, please.
Author's Note: Part One can be found here. Feedback is my drug of choice. Please let me know if this gave you a giggle. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies. This story is dedicated to [livejournal.com profile] babb_chronicles and all its giggle-inducing, inspirational badfic quotations.


(Marvola)
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Badfic - Sparklypoo)
Title: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! (1974)
Wordcount: ~13000
Rating: T
Genre: Crack!Fic
Characters: Madeleine Yaxley (OC), Maggie Lewis (OC), Marvola Arwen Raevyn Yvette Salazara Umekiko Elfynchyld (OC), Sorting Hat, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Louisa Chambers (OC), Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Special Agent Sam "Boggart" Humphries (OC)
Pairings: Remus/Maggie, Remus/Marvola, Peter/Madeleine, James/Lily
Summary: A new girl arrives at Hogwarts. She's perfect. She's beautiful. She has curves in all the right places. Everyone loves her. Everyone except Madeleine and Maggie, that is.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Dobby - Too Sexy)
Title: Backstage
Wordcount: ~11,000
Rating: T
Genre: Crack!Fic, AU
Characters: Various incarnations of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and many others including Emo!Draco, Sexy!Voldemort, and the giant squid (aka Gerald)
Pairings: mostly Remus/Sirius, but something for just about everyone
Summary: A behind-the-scenes look at what the Potterverse characters get up to when they're not "acting" in canon or fanfic.
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Tender)
Title: A Polyjuice Duet
Wordcount: ~7800
Rating: M
Warning: gender-bending polyjuice sex, girl!Sirius
Genre: Humour, Smut
Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Summary: Sirius discovers an interesting book in the Restricted Section of the Hogwarts library. Polyjuice hijinks ensue. (Marauders' 7th year)
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Slytherin - SS - The Plot Bunny)
Title: The Plot Bunny (Spring 1976)
Rating: PG-13 for masturbation (brief)
Status: Complete (1229 words)
Genre: Crack!Fic
Characters: Severus Snape, Lockhart, Regulus, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Maggie Lewis (OC) and friends, Remus, Sirius, James, Peter
Pairings: Severus/Regulus (if you squint), Lockhart/Lockhart, James/Lily (implied), Remus/Sirius (implied)
Summary: In which we learn why Snape decided to give the world of Animagi a miss. (Marauders' 6th year)
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - MWPP - 1975)
Title: Halloween 1974
Author: [livejournal.com profile] pica_scribit
Rating: PG (crossdressing and very mild language)
Warning: Lederhosen
Word Count: 497
Genre: Silly fluff, preslash
Characters: Sirius, Remus, James, Peter
Synopsis: Sirius gets to choose the Marauders' costumes for the Halloween party.
Timeline: Marauders' 5th Year
Disclaimer: I do not own the Marauders, since I am not JKR. I do not own the Queen of Hearts, since I am not Lewis Carroll. Little Red Riding Hood is a folk tale, and therefore public domain.
Author's Note: If someone would like to do an illustration of the boys in their costumes, I would be forever grateful! Feedback is my drug of choice. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies.

Halloween 1974 )
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Marauder's Map)
So it turns out there's more. But at least this one is short.

Title: Canon
Author: [livejournal.com profile] pica_scribit
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 576
Genre: Crack/Slash
Pairing(s): Remus/Sirius
Other Characters: None
Synopsis: After the madness of Karaoke Night, Sirius seeks reassurance from Remus.
Timeline: AU/None
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Don't sue me and I won't 'Sue you.
Author's Note: This serves as a sort of epilogue for Karaoke Night, which I posted last night. It's more sweet than silly, but might still provide a giggle. Feedback is my drug of choice. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies.


It's just fangirls, Padfoot. They have dirty minds. )
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Dobby - Too Sexy)


Title: Karaoke Night
Author: [livejournal.com profile] pica_scribit
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 8605
Genre: Crack!Fic
Pairing(s): Remus/Sirius, Regulus/Severus, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, James/Lily, Peter/OC, Hermione/Remus, Molly/Arthur, Narcissa/Lucius, Harry/Draco, Snarry, Snupin, Trelawney/Lockhart
Characters: Reunited Remus and Sirius, Sixth Year Marauders and Lily, Post-Hogwarts Marauders and Lily (with baby Harry), Lost Years Remus, Post-OotP Remus, Werewolf!Remus, Post-CoS Lockhart, Sixth Year Trio, Fifth Year Ginny, Lupincrush!Hermione, CRAZYCAPSLOCK!HARRY, Emo!Draco, Fred and George, OotP Molly & Arthur, OotP Tonks, OotP Moody, Madeleine Yaxley (OC), First War Narcissa, First War Lucius, Eurydice MacEoghan (OC Voldie's ghost mum), Sexy!Voldemort, Voyeuristic!Snape, First War Regulus, a Mary Sue (OC), Harry/Draco, Snarry, Snupin, the Dursleys, McGonagall, Trelawney, Dumbledore, Flitwick, Hagrid, Dobby, the giant squid
Synopsis: Sequel to The Dressing Room. A bunch of Harry Potter fanfic characters get together after a hard day's work for a bit of light entertainment.
Timeline: AU/None
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Don't sue me and I won't 'Sue you.
Author's Note: This story was inspired more than a year and a half before its completion by a late-night conversation with [livejournal.com profile] the_reda which started (I think) with the Hogwarts staff's preferred cocktails, and progressed to what they'd sing on karaoke night. The rest is history.

("This is all wrong," murmured Reunited Remus. "Voldemort shouldn't be ... hot.")
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Slytherin - SS - The Plot Bunny)
Title: The Plot Bunny
Author: [livejournal.com profile] pica_scribit
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1220
Genre: Humour
Pairing(s): Severus/Regulus (if you squint), Lockhart/Lockhart, James/Lily, Remus/Sirius
Other Characters: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Maggie Lewis (OC) and friends, Peter
Synopsis: In which I mock the fandom (again) and we learn why Snape decided to give the world of Animagi a miss.
Timeline: Spring 1976
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Don't sue me and I won't 'Sue you.
Author's Note: I've had this idea floating around in my head for a long time, but it's [livejournal.com profile] spryjojo's fault that I finally wrote it tonight when I should have been sleeping.


The Plot Bunny )
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - RL - Dressing Room)
Hey, all! I'm working on this again for the first time in a few months. It's not quite half done yet, but I hope you like what I've done so far. Maybe a few of you will even giggle. This is the sequel to The Dressing Room, and like it is AU parody fic, set in the world where HP fanon characters live when they are not performing in our fics. Let me know what you think so far.

Karaoke Night )
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - RL - Dressing Room)
Right. This is a first draft, and only the first part. I can tell this is going to be pretty long when it's done. Please tell me if it's way too confusing/boring/repetitive. Figuring out what order people sing in, and who is sitting with whom has proved more complicated than I expected. Please keep in mind that this is a "backstage" story. This is what the characters get up to when they have night off from "acting" in the fics written by fangirls.

Karaoke Night )

R/S Rec

Dec. 6th, 2004 03:44 am
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Shoebox Project)
this fic by [livejournal.com profile] sheafrotherdon is bloody brilliant and hysterically funny at the same time. Utterly inspired. I cannot reccommend it highly enough!
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Marauder's Map)
Despite the fact that it's 3:40 AM and I am meant to be moving house tomorrow, I have, against my better judgement, chosen to stay up and finish That Time of the Month, the sequel to Moste Potente Potions. I am posting the second half of the story below, since the first half has already been posted here and on my webpage. I am too tired to HTML it, so thoughts are not italicised. You'll just have to bear with me. I'll do it tomorrow. This is meant to be funny, but I think it got a little sidetracked into angst and soppiness. Not smut, though, this time. It's only rated PG-13. Anyway, I'll stop rambling and let you read. Feedback and typo hunting much appreciated.


That Time of the Month, part 2 )
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - RL - Dressing Room)
I had an insane idea for a humorfic the other day. I wasn't going to touch it, but I think it's got me now. Fear it! It's Remus-centric and I don't know that anything like it has ever been done before (in fact, I would be really surprised). Feedback is appreciated. Sometimes things are funnier in my head than they are to other people.

The Dressing Room )


A/N: I didn't quite fill out all the various Remuses as much as I had originally planned to, since I wanted to keep this short. For your amusement, here are my notes on this piece:

notes )
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Marauder's Map)
I'm going to continue writing this in between working today, so keep checking this entry for updates, starting from where I left off yesterday.

off to the Shrieking Shack we go... )


Bleh. I think I caught Remus's mood. I will just have to finish this later.

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