pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Default)
Fans of Buffy and of Mark Watches/Mark Reads take note! Mark Watches Buffy starts Monday! Woo!

If you're not familiar with Mark's work, he is made of pure awesome, rainbows, joy and fandom. He has taken it upon himself to get caught up on, and write detailed, thoughtful, often funny reviews of all the pop culture he missed out on in his youth, one episode or chapter per day, and he approaches these projects spoiler-free, with a childlike wonder and innocence that is a joy to behold.

He's already covered Twilight (which is the only thing he has disliked so far), Harry Potter, His Dark Materials, The Hunger Games, Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Avatar, as well as several smaller projects, and is currently working his way through The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings.

If you can read his reviews without wanting to hug him and have him be your best gay boyfriend, you have no heart.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - RL/SB - F***ing Serious?)
OK, so it's come to my attention that there are people in the fandom who have NOT seen this video. This is a tragedy and possibly a crime. So if you have not heard the "Sirius Black" rap (parody of "Baby Got Back") by Tony Goldmark, or seen the video which uses clips from Prisoner of Azkaban to illustrate it in a totally GENIUS manner, you need to take five minutes out of your busy lives and do just exactly that. If you do not laugh your ass off, it's possible that you have no sense of humour at all.
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - MWPP - Conspiracy)
A Conspiracy of Cartographers, Year One is now edited and available in .pdf format for those of you with e-readers. You can download it (as well as most of my other stories) from the Table of Contents on my web page. I didn't make a lot of changes. I caught a few typos and Americanisms, as well as tightening up some of the sentence structure, and making the dialogue of my 11-year-old protagonists a little less "polished".

I also edited a couple of the footnotes for M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! because of the unfortunate slut-shaming that found its way into the original version. I'm really sorry about that, you guys. Many thanks to those of you who pointed it out to me. You were totally right. Hopefully it's better now.

Finally, if there's anyone out there who's looking for [livejournal.com profile] franticbabbles' fics, I have at long last got around to formatting her complete archive into a .pdf file similar to the ones I'm doing for my own stories. She was an awesome R/S author who unfortunately left the fandom and deleted her journal a while back, so if you miss her stories or you never got a chance to read them, please leave your email address in the comments, and I'll pass them along.

Now to edit the first 11 chapters of Year Two....
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (R/S Games Team Canon)
Look, I know this fic is really long, but it is SO DAMN GOOD (also hot). Ya'll need to go read it as soon as possible. And it's not even from my team!

Team: AU
Title: Sodom and Gainsborough
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Bad language, canon character death, violence, masturbation, oral and anal sex
Genre(s): Angst, Humour
Word Count: 55,300
Summary: Non magical AU - Remus Lupin is a miserable priest, caught up in a huge scandal. When Sirius Black (old flame and now astrophysicist) walks back into his life after 10 years, he finds himself getting a little more than he bargained for.
Notes: An absolutely, indescribably huge thank you to my beta annalupin, who was kind enough to hold my hand through the writing of this monstrosity, encourage me and sift through every last word.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers, no copy right infringement intended.
The poem “Lovers on a Park Bench” is the property of Samuel M. Johnson.
Prompt: Number 43, Phillip Glass, “Knee Play 5,”


LINK
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - SB - Killed by Drapery)
So here's the thing. I haven't read canon since the release of Deathly Hallows three years ago. I don't know if it's because of the plot and character elements in that book that bothered me, but somehow, I figured I remembered the details of the books well enough to write fanfic, so there was no need to go back and immerse myself in the series again. Damn you, Mark! A couple of weeks ago, I started reading Order of the Phoenix along with his blog, a chapter or two a day. And I had completely forgotten how JKR's writing makes me laugh, cry, rage, giggle nervously, and essentially turn into a quivering, fangirling pile of goo. I just finished reading Ch 37, and I'll probably finish the book tonight, and there's a soggy, crumpled tissue in front of me as I type this. For Harry. For Sirius. For Remus. For Neville. They're not real. These books are works of fiction. All I have to do to bring the characters back is open the first book again. And yet, it kills me every time. That's good writing, folks. That's on a level I don't think I'll ever attain, even if I keep trying all my damn life long. A toast to Her Magnificence J. K. Rowling, the reason I feel like shit right now.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - Trio - Growing up)
Y'all are probably way ahead of me, but if you haven't already, you should check out the wonderful blog Mark Reads Harry Potter over on Buzznet. I started reading Mark back when he was doing chapter-a-day reviews of the Twilight series after someone told him he had no right to ciritcise it without having read it. His reviews were hilarious, and he ended up hating Twilight even more than he did to start with. I stopped reading around the middle of his reviews of the third book due to not having a reliable internet connection.

Well, it turns out he hadn't read the Harry Potter books either, so he decided for his next challenge he would read the HP series in the same chapter-a-day format. He was dubious at first, but needless to say, he very quickly fell in love with our favourite books. His reviews are hilarious and a real delight to read. Following along with them is almost like reading the books again for the first time, through his eyes. He's just this week started OotP, so there's a huge backlogue of entries which I caught up with over the last few days. I highly reccommend starting at the beginning. This stuff is better than crack.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - MWPP - 1975)
I'm currently watching the 1973 version of The Three Musketeers (which is brilliant, by the way), and the Marauders are having an argument in my head about which of the characters from the movie each of them is. Peter is D'Artagnan for sure, and Remus is probably Athos, but James and Sirius can't decide which of them is Porthos and which is Aramis. They are also confused about why the obvious Slytherins in the film are all dressed in red and gold.

*makes note to have the boys see this movie when I get around to writing Year Four*

As of this afternoon, I'm off from work for about two weeks. I'm going to get some quality sleep tonight, and then get down to some serious writing. I'm hoping to finish Year One next week, and possibly write my entry for the [livejournal.com profile] rs_games before I have to head back to work on July 8.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Tortall - Roger & Alanna)
There's a movie that I saw when I was a kid that no one else seems to have seen, and I would really love it if someone could tell me the title and prove I'm not insane. I've asked everywhere else over the years, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask here as well, since there's about 200 people reading this who are from all over the world, and many of whom are fantasy fans.

Here's what I remember: It was a 1980's (or possibly late-1970's) live-action fantasy adventure movie, set in a pseudo-medieval world. The hero is a young boy (maybe about twelve?), and he is on a quest to rescue a princess of a similar age. He has a rather rusty sword. Traveling with him is a rather scruffy-looking man (looks like Aragorn in my memory). There is a lot of mud and dirt. At one point, the boy is held captive by priestesses who tie him to a table. They turn into giant insects, and he escapes and decapitates one of them, whereupon she turns back into a (headless) woman. I seem to remember that, when he's tied to the table, the sky is full of dragons.

That's it. That's all I've got. I have no idea of the country of origin, though I obviously watched it in English. It could have been dubbed, for all I know. I saw it once, more than 20 years ago, so my recollections are quite vague. Help me?

Edit: The person who finds the film I am talking about gets naughty fic of their choice kink and HP pairing (or threesome, or whatever). Anything you want.

Edit: Movies it isn't:
The Neverending Story
Dragonslayer
Legend
Ladyhawke
Willow
Mio Min Mio (The Land of Faraway)
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - RL - Dressing Room)
So, I had a bizarre fangirl WTF? moment today at the library. Did any of y'all know David Thewlis (Remus in the movies) published a novel? I sure as hell didn't. But he did, and my tiny small-town library in the middle of VA, which has almost nothing, has it. The name "Thewlis" caught my eye as I was browsing, and there it was. Well, of course I had to check it out, since his performance as our beloved professor is at least partially responsible for my R/S 'shipping insanity. But the part that tells me I am officially batshit loco is where I'm looking for hints of my version of Remus in the text. Somebody shoot me.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Gryffindor - AD/GG - Gay Wizards)
If you're into queer lit for teens and you haven't read David Levithan, you're missing out. I am so completely in love with this author. A couple weeks ago, I posted my review of Boy Meets Boy, which remains my favourite Levithan book, but since then, I have read five others, and I thought I would share my reviews with the people I fondly think of as my fellow perverts. They are all quick reads, and definitely worth a few hours of your time. I have seven more Levithan books on order from the library. Can't wait to get my hands on them!

Reviews )
pica_scribit: (Gryffindor - RL/SB - Marauder's Map)
I thought my slash-happy readers might be interested my review of the book I just finished.

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan
I am finding it difficult to sum up in words all the ways in which this book made me deliriously happy. It caught my eye by chance on the library bookshelf yesterday, and I had read half of it before I even left the library. At first, I was dubious. The setting was a tad too goofy and whimsical, and the young narrator, Paul, seemed alarmingly insightful and self-aware for a boy of fifteen. But once I got used to the homecoming queen who was also the star quarterback, the cheerleaders on Harleys, and the high school where, quite literally, anything goes, I found myself utterly charmed by the realness of the characters and their situations. Paul, who has just met and fallen for the new boy, Noah. Paul's best friend Joni, and the rift in their friendship caused by her choice of Mr Wrong, and becomes a different person. Paul's other best friend Tony, whose ultra-religious parents won't let him out of the house unless he promises to be straight. Kyle, Paul's sexually confused ex, who can't seem to decide what he wants. And Noah -- with his absentee parents and protective little sister -- who, if I were a fifteen-year-old gay boy, I think I would fall in love with, too. I grinned my way through this book like a teenager with a crush. Sometimes I laughed, sometimes I said, "No, you fool! Don't do that!", and once or twice, I even found myself getting a little misty-eyed. The sweetness of Paul and Noah's budding romance stole my heart and reminded me of what it felt like to be sixteen and falling in love for the first time. This isn't just great queer lit; this is a wonderful book for teenagers feeling their way through heights and pitfalls of the murky world of romance and impending adulthood. It sends a clear message to be true to yourself and to your friends, because in the end, that's what matters most. I will definitely be adding this one to my bookshelf.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Comm - hp_adult - So Wrong)
How Not to Write a Novel by Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman *****
This book may be one of the best chance purchases I have ever made at a book store. Not only is it jam-packed with really excellent writing advice, it is also laugh-out-loud funny. Examples include references to Underpants Gnomes, Leonard Cohen, and characters who "go through the motions of the plot with the vacancy of bored minimum-wage employees". There were a few examples that could have been straight out of the "Twilight" series, a few which seemed to refer to the "Harry Potter" books, dozens that I have seen time and again in fanfiction, and even one or two which *cough cough* I recognised from my own writing. We all have room for improvement, so if you are serious about writing fiction, if you enjoy publishing fanfic online, or if you just think bad writing is utterly hilarious, I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

"Giving a reader a sex scene that is only half right is like giving her only half of a kitten. It is not half as cute as a whole kitten; it is a bloody, godawful mess. A half-right sex scene is not half as hot; it actually moves into the negative numbers, draining any heat from the surrounding material." (p. 226)
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Slytherin - Get Fuzzy)
You people need Something*Positive in your lives. Therefore, I present you with a comic which should resonate with fangirls everywhere.

Warning: contains dismemberment and catgirls
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Badfic - Triplets)
I thought those of you who get a giggle over badfic might appreciate the actual published book I am reading right now, which may in fact be the Worst Book Ever. It's called "Swamp!" by Joe Pachinko, and this is an honest-to-God excerpt:

"Ah shit, I always wanted to do marine archaeology anyway." Sam said. And it was true. The idea of diving for sunken treasure had always appealed to Sam. Gargantuan shadowy megalithic undersea fortresses of dark sunken secrets beckoned to him, reached out to him with fishy arms and tentacles to suck him back down, down into the dungeons of his memory, the sunken pleasure cruises of his past from which no survivors surfaced. Trapped at the bottom of the sea with seaweed curled around their ears, the starfish breasts, the barnacled buttocks encrusted, the scorned and eternally scornful mermaids a perfect image, you may love her, but not physically, she has no earthly twat and your children, half fish? Which half? And back to surface from shipwreck, the survivors, with the knowledge that all survivors have, that we are accompanied by ghosts and we will never be alone. The ghosts will make sure of that, rest assured.

(Oh, and in fic-writing news, I got laid off yesterday, so after next Friday, I might have a lot more time on my hands!)
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Badfic - Triplets)
This may be the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life. I laughed so hard I cried and could not breathe. I made noises I did not even know I could make. [livejournal.com profile] babb_chronicles (for those of you who do not know) is an LJ which regularly posts humorously bad Harry Potter fanfiction quotes. The LJ Markov Generator takes random phrases from an LJ and connects them where words overlap to form new sentences which may make more or less sense than the original statements. Combining the two is comedy gold. I don't think I have ever laughed so long or so hard in my life. So go use the bathroom, put down your drink and click that link!
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Slytherin - RAB - Dalton)
Why do I always forget how damn much I love this film? Everyone in it is nothing short of amazing. Do they make movies like this anymore? This is the Peter O'Toole, Katherine Hepburn, Anthony Hopkins and Timothy Dalton (icon!) version, by the way. If you have not seen it, do. It even comes with built-in slashy.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Comm - hp_adult - So Wrong)
I really am a glutton for punishment, amn't I? I just wanted to see how bad this could get. So here's my running commentary

Tin Man spoilers )
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Comm - hp_adult - So Wrong)
Well, if that wasn't the most uninspiring pile of MarySueish drivel I've ever seen in my life (outside ff.net), I don't know what is. This Sci-Fi channel version of the Wizard of Oz is inspired by the 1939 film, which, in turn, was inspired by the original book by L. Frank Baum. Any resemblence to Baum's original work has been methodically purged. Toto's not even in this damn thing.

Dorothy -- excuse me -- "D.G." is not just an ordinary Kansas girl. Oh, no! See, she's actually the princess of Oz, but her mother the queen sent her into our world to protect her from D.G.'s evil sister, who grows up to become the wicked witch. When D.G. returns to the O.Z., her memories and Sooper Speshul Powrz begin to emerge. And she has to fight the flying monkeys which are actually her sister's boob tattoos which come to life and do her bidding. I think I remember that bit from the book....

I may have to watch parts 2 and 3 tomorrow and the next night, just to see how bad it can get. But I don't think anything's going to beat D.G.'s coming to terms in about two seconds with the fact that the people who raised her were not in fact her real parents, but *robots*.
pica_scribit: Pica Pica (Comm - hp_adult - So Wrong)
For those of you who love Harry Potter and hate WalMart and have not yet seen these, you must go watch them RIGHT NOW. They are hilarious.

Harry vs WaldeMart, part 1
Harry vs WaldeMart, part 2

June 2017

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